I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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