Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
