I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
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we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
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Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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