Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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