God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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