I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
