i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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