508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
