you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
ok first of all what the fuck
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