why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
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they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize