So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
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