I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
