she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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