so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
