Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
