see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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