"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
