I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
