New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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