why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
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I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
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He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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