i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
