So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
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At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
She told me I should be a condom model.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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