I heard we made out
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Farmville is her only friend.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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