Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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