there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
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