Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
