YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
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The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
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Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize