I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
