This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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