his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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