This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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