Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
