where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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