Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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