I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
