Kiss
Puke
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
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Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
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Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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