This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
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It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
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Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize