every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
