Heybabeimwearingurpanties
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
