Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
