did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
