i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
