Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
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