well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
