he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Enjoy the penises
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
