I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
