Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just want to make out with him forever
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
