just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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