it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize