So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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