Umm I'm too high to move.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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