just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
