It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
