I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
