i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I cut my penus on the lid.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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